im lost confused...

2dae iz exzctly my 3mths @ cown hotel
im suppose to mk a decicison to stay or not?
im push n pull hard tough chioce to mk reali
i wana stay yet pride iz pushin mi away...
hOw let go coz of ur ego or pride?
tt's a high price to pay isn't?
bt wat abt my face wen ppl noe im leavin yet i stay? contradict huh?


another tin
iz stil him...


dere always seems to b plenty kipin us apart n yet dere iz oSo somethin utterly inexplicable pullin us together

din contact him 4 almoz a mth le

i succeed nt contactin him nv chat or sms him

coz i noe a new fren

exactly 1 mth sia im close to dis close mit almoz every wk mit since i noe him

meanin 4 tyms le so far. both of us can reali clink n yet so similars in mani waes
n i tot he could mayb da one tt can help mi forget abt him

i tot n i did sumhw.. bt y everytin jz fals apart wen i tot i manage to c a pic

da tins tt i fear came true it came bk huantin mi again

y dose it alwaze cum wenwever im abt to let go of him

why why why???

memories of him n da paz came flashin bk wen i saw his lok-alyk
n wen frens told mi tt he iz single nw..
yup tt one iz exepected la bt stil y does everytin came bk wen i noe a new fren
tt i tOT can replace him in my heart...

y dose da paz n him cum bk wen im abt to let go n start afresh?

cant u jz let mi off cant u jz let mi go since i cant haf him

it had been 4yrs le n its alwaze da same tin happen over n over ago

u let mi noe him, close to him den u pull him away,
den wen im abt to let go u push him bk to mi
wat iz dis? wtf wth im reali sick n tired abt all dis le...



wat im i suppose to do???

i tot of lettin go tot of gifin up bt seems notin helps

wen i tot of go for it pursue my own happiness let him noe

bt he iz attach n happily "married" leavin mi in misery

wen i hold on tinkin tt iz he tt "ONe" da one tt i wan n hope to spend my life wif i wait n wait..bt den notin i gt in return jz sadness n more tears each tym.

bUt wen im abt let go nt to tink abt him animore wana gif myself another chance
n i did n i tot i found
bt y did u haf to cum bk to mi???

wat u wan mi to do? even if we r close i noe sumtins bound to pull us apart

im sick n tired of all dis le tt i dun dare to actually move forward

instead i move 2 steps backwards coz i noe u wil sumhw eventully b pulled away frm mi

i dun wan to cry or get upset animore

i jz hope n pray tt u r happi can le

dun tourtue mi animore my heart cant tk it animore



i wait 4 ya to luv mi bt u din i did n tried my bez le

4yrs iz long enuff i dun wan to continue dis animore

i noe da ones tt i lyk wun lyk mi de

i gif up i resign to fate

bt plz let mi go if we r reali nt meant to b plz....................