heart pain

haiz my heart feels so heavy nw..
esp wen i wake up
frm laz nite til nw stil achin..
@ abt 4am dis mngz
finali i c him online..
at tt tym my heart felt reali heavy
bt at da same tym was kinda happi
coz finali saw him online n he iz bk finali!
wantin to clink on him bt bt kinda
waitin 4 him to clink on mi first sumore he pt away..
so i wait n wait n wait
tot he unpackin bathin or wat...
den waited til 1hr+ ltr decided to
clink on him b4 i go slp..
n gueSs wat he offline le
kaoz y alwaze lidat one...alwaze loh...
nt fated iz jz a clink away u noe
so he was online all da while lah...
sumtyms wen u tink of doin sumtin
dun tink too much jz do it b4 it slips away..

Y do I stil wiSh you were heRe?
Y do I stil loNg to sEE you?
Y do I wiSh you weRe neaR?
I'm infatuated wiF yOu
But I want tt feeliN to eNd..
I nOe U duN feel da saMe..
I juSt want my heaRt to meNd..
I hide all dis feelinS frm yOu
kiP dem lOcked up inside..
I duN nOe wat to dO
I duN want to thiNk of yOU!
I nv wanted it dis way
I tried to mk it go away
Funni enough it decided to stay
I onli wanted u as a fren
Nw I haf to play pretend
You nv see beyond my eyes
That is where the feelin lies
Tryin to kill, it never dies
Instead wif tym it multiplies
You'll nv noe, I'll nv tell
Bt I'll always be under ur spel
The way I luv u is lyk a well
Unknowingly I walked n tripped n fell...


bUt over da yrs inside nw im stil hurtin..
Deep down it hurts to tiNk abt ya n dose daeS..
jz mkS my heart rainiN..sOb..
i cant luv neither could i forget ya


he iz online nw
bt once again i chose to pretend n ingore
haiz..
addin on my elder bro iz irritatin mi
he purposely off da connection wenever he cum hm
dun wana let mi use da internet
y do i haf such a selfish bro
arrggh..
im feelin suxs...